Strain 01🌿
The Crimson Maw
A burgundy bloom with opinions and a wide social appetite. Sings on Tuesdays.
$95 / feeds itself
Est. behind the florist · Skid Row adjacent · do not water after midnight
Mervyn & Mortifern’s
Curious Conservatory
Rare, geometric, & occasionally peckish houseplants — today’s the day to take one home!
CAT. NO. 001–006
This Week’s Specimens
Strain 02🍃
Prairie Fern, Cantilevered
Grows in strict horizontal tiers. Looks tremendous over a low brick hearth.
$48 / pot extra
Strain 03🟫
Mr. Whiskerblossom
Bright, friendly, secretly enormous teeth. He’d like to be your best friend.
$66 / ha ha ha
Strain 04🍀
Midnight Throatleaf
Deep moss foliage, swallows the occasional postman. Discreet. Low light.
$120 / as-is
Strain 05🍂
Golden Stained Succulent
Faceted leaves in ochre and clay. Catches the afternoon like a real window.
$37 / each
Strain 06🌵
The Quiet Sapling
Asks for nothing. Wants everything. We do not discuss the back greenhouse.
$?? / inquire within
FROM THE GREENHOUSE
Caught Mid–Snack
Feed Me, Friend
Our flagship specimen is on a strict schedule. Top off the tank before you go — it’s only polite. Fill the meter if you dare. We advise against it.
SATIATION — 18%